Are You Ready for Parenthood?

This is just a bit of tongue in cheek nonsense, but it made me smile as I wrote it. I hope it does the same as you read it!

someecard-parenting

Are You Ready for Parenthood?

 

1. You feel that showering more than every other day is redundant.

Yes  No

2. You have at least one boy’s name and one girl’s name picked out that can be clearly and effortlessly hollered out across a department store floor, supermarket, or playground.

Yes  No

3. You are comfortable carrying around 20-30 pound weights, and accomplishing other tasks while doing so.

Yes  No

4. There are fifty shades of clean.

Yes  No

5.. Your dexterity has evolved to mean that you can skillfully accomplish tasks with one hand only, such as cracking eggs, chopping vegetables, loading and unloading the dishwasher, buttering toast, etc.

Yes  No

6. You have memorized at least eighty-five children’s songs; and all verses of songs; and actions where applicable.

Yes  No

7. You know the sign language for ‘more’, ‘all done’, ‘eat’. ‘milk’, ‘pee’, and ‘poo’, and find yourself using these signs when having conversations with both kids and adults.

Yes  No

8. You are really good at counting to three.

Yes  No

9. You have come to appreciate that personal space really means having some part of your body free to do with it what you desire, probably while being close enough to someone else that you can feel their breath on your face.

Yes  No

10. Sleeping through the night is for wimps.

Yes  No

11.Date nights are really just as romantic when you stay in, heat up leftovers in the microwave, and then cuddle on the couch in a quiet house.

Yes  No

You don’t really need to be pee alone.

Yes  No

If you answered Yes to all twelve questions, Congratulations, you are an awesome parent of at least one already-school-aged child!

If you answered Yes to more than six of these questions, Congratulations on recently having a baby!

If you answered Yes to five or less of these questions, please go back to number one, and for the next nine months (or less), work your way through all of these questions again!

If you answered Yes to none of these questions, Congratulations, your children are grown! 🙂

 

 

Copyright, 2014 Caran @ Grow. Cook. Eat. Share.

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